I am either the smartest person or the dumbest when it comes to choosing fatherhood. I say this, because I have a son that is starting his 3rd year of college. He's never been in any real trouble, makes good grades in school, and is in the home stretch for preparing to become a contributing member of society. In all respects, I'm almost ready to put a big check mark in the box of successful/proud parent and prepare to start enjoying my AARP benefits along with a cool glass of lemonade on my front porch whilst watching the world pass me by.
Perhaps I'm dumb for starting over. What am I thinking?!? After all, I've done my time changing diapers, paying for braces, buying Jakob's first automobile, helping pay for college, and the hundreds of other responsibilities that come with being a parent. Why would I want to start this entire process over 20 years later? I'll tell you why. I'm wiser now, more responsible, more secure, and more prepared (translation: OLDER).
One of the biggest decisions to do it again is Dawn. I've watched her around other kids, and seen her caring loving ways enough to know that she will be an incredible mother. It would be a disservice to humankind to deprive her of the gift of being a mother. From the moment she first found out she was going to be a mother, she has done everything imaginable to ensure a healthy baby arrives in September. I really respect and appreciate everything she is doing and enduring to prepare for the big day.
What a transformation my own life has experienced in the last several months. Here is a summary of before and after:
To get my fill of adrenaline, I used to make a few hundred skydives a year. Now my skydiving gear has been sold, and my new adrenaline comes from watching the "I'm pregnant and didn't know it" marathon on TV. What a rush watching 8 episodes back to back!
My weekends used to be spent partying like a rock star. Going out around 10:00pm and staying out until the early hours of the morning, hoping I'd make it home alive. Now I'm going to sleep around 10:00pm on the weekends (usually exhausted from watching baby shows on TV). Instead of spending the rest of the weekend recovering from overindulging the night before, I'm up with the cows, trying to make it to garage sales to get some great deals on baby items.
I used to swap war stories with my single friends about all of the crazy things we were doing, or getting ready to do. Now most of my conversations are with other married people getting advice on car seats, breast pumps, and best brand of diaper.
My sun room which used to serve as the 2nd wing of my home arcade, has now been cleared out, and replaced with more baby stuff that I can count. I don't even know what some of it is or does.
I used to know human anatomy for all the wrong reasons (giggidy), but now my anatomy focus is for entirely different reasons. I now know more about the cervix, fallopian tubes, placenta and uterus that I really ever imagined possible.
And finally, my buddies used to send me cool YouTube videos about hot chicks, fast cars, and men drinking, now I only get videos like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZa7hU6tP_s&feature=player_embedded
Would I change any of it? Not at all. Although I probably don't show it as outwardly as Dawn, I'm just as excited about becoming a Daddy as she is becoming a Mommy. I feel like the luckiest guy around to have Dawn in my life, and in just a matter of 60 days, another son to join our family.
So am I the smartest or dumbest guy for doing this a 2nd time, 20 years later? I think I'm on to something here. I'm definitely the smartest and happiest guy around for doing this. I'd write more, but for now, I've got to run. Got to go clear out the liquor cabinet to make room for the baby bottles.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
SLEEP !!! HAHAHAHAHA !
I've always had a problem sleeping so I was a little used to it, but, things are a little different now!
Before I would just take forever to fall asleep and wake up about 20 times a night, but now, trying to sleep with a stomach the size of a basketball or small beach ball, it's tougher than I thought, to top it off, I now have carpal tunnel !!
I have every pillow you can imagine, a super large one that completely surrounds me, Bryan calls it my cocoon, some nights I sleep with it, some nights it sleeps on the floor. I now have to sleep with hand splints on, three pillows behind me one on either side, travel pillow around my neck and two smaller pillows, in case of emergency, don't know what that could be.
I look like I've been in a terrible accident, I only wish I could have a hospital bed with all the bells and whistles, especially now that I've turned into the "Urinator", film at 9, 12, 2, 4, 6, 8............ you get the idea ! Those depend undergarments aren't looking so bad now, I"m sure I could make them look cute with some glue, glitter and markers and maybe a few stickers !
I think it's funny when people say it's nature's way of preparing you for the baby, if it were, wouldn't you think nature would want you to sleep as much as possible now? Besides, I guess I've been practicing for years !
It's so pleasing to watch Bryan come to bed an hour later, kiss me good night and snore before his head hits the pillow, NOT !!!! Sometimes I want to "accidentally" kick him every time I awaken , but I can't , besides, he would only fall back asleep and tell me about the dream he had about someone kicking him, hmmmmmm
Only 3 months to go , then my little beach ball will be out of my stomach and in his cradle, it's going to be worth every minute of sleep I am and will be missing !!!
I can't wait to hold our little Pierce!!!
I think I'll take a nap now............................
Before I would just take forever to fall asleep and wake up about 20 times a night, but now, trying to sleep with a stomach the size of a basketball or small beach ball, it's tougher than I thought, to top it off, I now have carpal tunnel !!
I have every pillow you can imagine, a super large one that completely surrounds me, Bryan calls it my cocoon, some nights I sleep with it, some nights it sleeps on the floor. I now have to sleep with hand splints on, three pillows behind me one on either side, travel pillow around my neck and two smaller pillows, in case of emergency, don't know what that could be.
I look like I've been in a terrible accident, I only wish I could have a hospital bed with all the bells and whistles, especially now that I've turned into the "Urinator", film at 9, 12, 2, 4, 6, 8............ you get the idea ! Those depend undergarments aren't looking so bad now, I"m sure I could make them look cute with some glue, glitter and markers and maybe a few stickers !
I think it's funny when people say it's nature's way of preparing you for the baby, if it were, wouldn't you think nature would want you to sleep as much as possible now? Besides, I guess I've been practicing for years !
It's so pleasing to watch Bryan come to bed an hour later, kiss me good night and snore before his head hits the pillow, NOT !!!! Sometimes I want to "accidentally" kick him every time I awaken , but I can't , besides, he would only fall back asleep and tell me about the dream he had about someone kicking him, hmmmmmm
Only 3 months to go , then my little beach ball will be out of my stomach and in his cradle, it's going to be worth every minute of sleep I am and will be missing !!!
I can't wait to hold our little Pierce!!!
I think I'll take a nap now............................
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Breast Feeding
On June 3rd, I had a life changing event. I didn't win the lottery or have a near death experience - Nope.... I went to a breast feeding class!
We scheduled this class weeks ago, and when I put it on my calendar from 6pm - 9pm, I chuckled knowing there was no way that we'd need 3 hours to learn how to do this. I mean seriously, is it really this complicated? Somehow for thousands of years the maternal instinct of a mother and her child have worked just fine without complicated books and classes. After all, it's a pretty simple concept:
1 - Expose Breast
2 - Put Baby to Breast
3 - Feed Baby
4 - Repeat as needed
How could this possibly consume 3 hours of our lives? I was about to find out.....
We arrived early to make sure we'd get a good seat. I was surprised to see how many other couples were also there. I was even more surprised to see the 75 page book going into more detail that I ever knew was possible about breast feeding a baby. I was starting to get worried.
Anywhere else, if the word "sucking" and "breast" were used so many times in the same sentence, you'd likely get arrested. But here it was the norm and there were moments when things felt slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps the women felt completely fine with this, but looking around at the other suckers (no pun intended) - I mean other men in the room, I could tell they too were feeling the uneasiness of this situation.
After almost two hours of our instructor telling us just how difficult it could be to get the baby to drink from the breast, I think she finally felt sorry for us and gave us a 'brief' break. Fortunately they had comfort food there, and I had definitely worked up an appetite by this point. They were kind enough to provide us with freshly baked brownies and apple juice (seems to me like they should have given us milk under the circumstances) but what do I know.
Before I had time to finish my brownie, the instructor was back at it, but now it was time for a volunteer to come to the front of the room and 'demonstrate' the technique. Of course no one would volunteer because everyone was terrified of what might happen being in the spotlight. As the instructor peered across the room hoping to find a willing volunteer, I could see everyone looking away making sure as to not make eye contact with her for fear of being selected.
But like a true champion, Dawn rose to the occasion and in the name of science and education, she volunteered to go in front of the class and help the instructor. Dawn was a real sport and fortunately she didn't have to do anything too absurd, but it was still entertaining to watch her teach us all how to hold the baby in various positions to maximize the chances of a good feeding. I took the opportunity to sneak out my phone and capture some quality video and pictures that will surely provide a good laugh one day later in life.
Remember the 75 page book I mentioned? It was well after 9:00pm and we were roughly 50% through the book. Our instructor was so passionate about educating us on the 15,000 things we needed to know (Refer to my list above - Remember, I thought there were only 4 things ), that she could have easily continued another 3 hours. Fortunately around 9:15pm, she could tell she had beat us into an overwhelmed and unqualified state of mind, that she dismissed the class.
I left that night thinking to myself - "Thank God there is not a class on how to change a diaper", but at that very moment I remembered, we had signed up for that class which would be coming up the following week - But that's another story.
I had nightmares later that evening. I was being attacked by an array of bottles, nipples, breast pumps, formula, crying babies, and our evil instructor laughing and pointing at me saying "I told you so". It was a horrible dream and I woke up drenched with sweat. I went to the kitchen to get a drink, and opened the fridge and poured myself a glass of milk. Somehow my natural instincts took over, and without any complications I put the glass to my mouth and enjoyed every last drop. I'm sure my son too will do the same, and everything will be just fine; even if we just use the four step method that has been used for centuries.
We scheduled this class weeks ago, and when I put it on my calendar from 6pm - 9pm, I chuckled knowing there was no way that we'd need 3 hours to learn how to do this. I mean seriously, is it really this complicated? Somehow for thousands of years the maternal instinct of a mother and her child have worked just fine without complicated books and classes. After all, it's a pretty simple concept:
1 - Expose Breast
2 - Put Baby to Breast
3 - Feed Baby
4 - Repeat as needed
How could this possibly consume 3 hours of our lives? I was about to find out.....
We arrived early to make sure we'd get a good seat. I was surprised to see how many other couples were also there. I was even more surprised to see the 75 page book going into more detail that I ever knew was possible about breast feeding a baby. I was starting to get worried.
Anywhere else, if the word "sucking" and "breast" were used so many times in the same sentence, you'd likely get arrested. But here it was the norm and there were moments when things felt slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps the women felt completely fine with this, but looking around at the other suckers (no pun intended) - I mean other men in the room, I could tell they too were feeling the uneasiness of this situation.
After almost two hours of our instructor telling us just how difficult it could be to get the baby to drink from the breast, I think she finally felt sorry for us and gave us a 'brief' break. Fortunately they had comfort food there, and I had definitely worked up an appetite by this point. They were kind enough to provide us with freshly baked brownies and apple juice (seems to me like they should have given us milk under the circumstances) but what do I know.
Before I had time to finish my brownie, the instructor was back at it, but now it was time for a volunteer to come to the front of the room and 'demonstrate' the technique. Of course no one would volunteer because everyone was terrified of what might happen being in the spotlight. As the instructor peered across the room hoping to find a willing volunteer, I could see everyone looking away making sure as to not make eye contact with her for fear of being selected.
But like a true champion, Dawn rose to the occasion and in the name of science and education, she volunteered to go in front of the class and help the instructor. Dawn was a real sport and fortunately she didn't have to do anything too absurd, but it was still entertaining to watch her teach us all how to hold the baby in various positions to maximize the chances of a good feeding. I took the opportunity to sneak out my phone and capture some quality video and pictures that will surely provide a good laugh one day later in life.
Remember the 75 page book I mentioned? It was well after 9:00pm and we were roughly 50% through the book. Our instructor was so passionate about educating us on the 15,000 things we needed to know (Refer to my list above - Remember, I thought there were only 4 things ), that she could have easily continued another 3 hours. Fortunately around 9:15pm, she could tell she had beat us into an overwhelmed and unqualified state of mind, that she dismissed the class.
I left that night thinking to myself - "Thank God there is not a class on how to change a diaper", but at that very moment I remembered, we had signed up for that class which would be coming up the following week - But that's another story.
I had nightmares later that evening. I was being attacked by an array of bottles, nipples, breast pumps, formula, crying babies, and our evil instructor laughing and pointing at me saying "I told you so". It was a horrible dream and I woke up drenched with sweat. I went to the kitchen to get a drink, and opened the fridge and poured myself a glass of milk. Somehow my natural instincts took over, and without any complications I put the glass to my mouth and enjoyed every last drop. I'm sure my son too will do the same, and everything will be just fine; even if we just use the four step method that has been used for centuries.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Registering for Baby, Easy? I think not !!!
I thought picking out his name was hard, registering is just as hard. I could easily register for what "I" want, that would be easy, a maid service for a day, massage, facial, mani-pedi and my car detailed for the little one's arrival, but, it's not for mommy !!
We have been fortunate to receive a lot of "hand-me overs" from Amy and Sandy, thank you ladies, that has made it easy as well as for the yard sales Bryan and I hit and have a ton of newborn clothes. I think Bryan is hooked on this yard sale thing since we're going again this Saturday in hopes of finding a changing table and a dresser.
We're having a tough time with the carrier/car seat, why can't they just make ONE !!!
I can't decide if we need a carrier then a care seat or just a car seat that will last from 5 to 100 lbs, will need to make very sure to keep it clean for that long, may have to keep the plastic cover on it like some people keep over their furniture!
I only wish there were a master list somewhere of everything one needs for their little new addition !
Can we just go back to the good old days when you just held the baby while driving and later letting them play or nap in the back space @ the back window, just kidding, I always had fun doing that myself!!! I don't ever recall wearing a seat belt, just remember riding in the back of my grand parent's car begging them to turn on the radio and their answer was to start singing their own song !!! Not what I wanted, of course I'd love to hear them sing now if only that were possible!
Anyway, I think our only BIG task is to decide on the car seats and the rest will fall into place, RIGHT??!!!
We have been fortunate to receive a lot of "hand-me overs" from Amy and Sandy, thank you ladies, that has made it easy as well as for the yard sales Bryan and I hit and have a ton of newborn clothes. I think Bryan is hooked on this yard sale thing since we're going again this Saturday in hopes of finding a changing table and a dresser.
We're having a tough time with the carrier/car seat, why can't they just make ONE !!!
I can't decide if we need a carrier then a care seat or just a car seat that will last from 5 to 100 lbs, will need to make very sure to keep it clean for that long, may have to keep the plastic cover on it like some people keep over their furniture!
I only wish there were a master list somewhere of everything one needs for their little new addition !
Can we just go back to the good old days when you just held the baby while driving and later letting them play or nap in the back space @ the back window, just kidding, I always had fun doing that myself!!! I don't ever recall wearing a seat belt, just remember riding in the back of my grand parent's car begging them to turn on the radio and their answer was to start singing their own song !!! Not what I wanted, of course I'd love to hear them sing now if only that were possible!
Anyway, I think our only BIG task is to decide on the car seats and the rest will fall into place, RIGHT??!!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Baby "stuff"
I'm so excited to have some baby things around the house. Met my Aunt Amy today in Columbia, to pick up a cradle, pack-n-play, baby tub, lil rocking horse, bedding, towels, and some misc. toys. My friend Kerry rode with me for company and to let me know it was ok to eat a ham & cheese biscuit, blueberry biscuit and most of her hash browns, Amy helped cheer me on too!
As soon as I could get everything in the house, I started putting things together, starting with the pack-n-play without directions!!! I decided to google for the instructions and there it was, on You Tube, yippee ! This one was a little different but close enough, it wasn't easy trying to figure it out before the google search! I would get one side up, work on side 2 and side one would fall, this went on for about 30 minutes before I decided to google!
I decided to put the things together since Babies R Us almost made Bryan have a mental break down, I need to take it easy on the man!
I guess all I get to do now is stare at it and shew the dogs away from it when they try to chew it! It's going to be interesting when we have baby toys around the house, Chingy is the worst when it comes to toys!! I'm hoping to get some more on Saturday !!!
As soon as I could get everything in the house, I started putting things together, starting with the pack-n-play without directions!!! I decided to google for the instructions and there it was, on You Tube, yippee ! This one was a little different but close enough, it wasn't easy trying to figure it out before the google search! I would get one side up, work on side 2 and side one would fall, this went on for about 30 minutes before I decided to google!
I decided to put the things together since Babies R Us almost made Bryan have a mental break down, I need to take it easy on the man!
I guess all I get to do now is stare at it and shew the dogs away from it when they try to chew it! It's going to be interesting when we have baby toys around the house, Chingy is the worst when it comes to toys!! I'm hoping to get some more on Saturday !!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Babies R Us Part 2, Dawn's view
I thought the man was going to have a heart attack ! Now he's the one saying,we need to find out what we're getting and make plans....... I told him we would find out after our baby showers in August, this seemed to freak him out too, this was not soon enough for him to plan, coming from someone who doesn't like to plan! We'll be fine, our little man will not go without !
He calmed down after some Chick fil A, amazing what a little chicken strip, sample peach milk shake and some sweet lemonade can cure! I just knew I was going to have to find him and anti anxiety pill.
I think he forgot how our morning started! We were looking over our finances and figuring out how to slim down some spending. He got up to let the dogs in, I asked if he put Lexi in her crate when he replied,"She was in all day yesterday and was good" so the answer was no.
A few minutes later I open the door and walk into the living room, when she came running up to me with something hanging from her collar, MY PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES !!! I've already had to replace them once because I lost a pair now, Lexi has chewed my replacements and they're hanging from her collar. Oh well, so much for budget today!!
Luckily I have an appointment tomorrow and they had one more pair of frames left that I like !!
All is well and will be well.
My Mom also called to let me know she lied about not buying more for the baby, two more outfits he now has, it's hard not to buy those little outfits.
The End>
He calmed down after some Chick fil A, amazing what a little chicken strip, sample peach milk shake and some sweet lemonade can cure! I just knew I was going to have to find him and anti anxiety pill.
I think he forgot how our morning started! We were looking over our finances and figuring out how to slim down some spending. He got up to let the dogs in, I asked if he put Lexi in her crate when he replied,"She was in all day yesterday and was good" so the answer was no.
A few minutes later I open the door and walk into the living room, when she came running up to me with something hanging from her collar, MY PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES !!! I've already had to replace them once because I lost a pair now, Lexi has chewed my replacements and they're hanging from her collar. Oh well, so much for budget today!!
Luckily I have an appointment tomorrow and they had one more pair of frames left that I like !!
All is well and will be well.
My Mom also called to let me know she lied about not buying more for the baby, two more outfits he now has, it's hard not to buy those little outfits.
The End>
Babies R Us
According to my countdown timer, I've still got 117 days until our little boy joins the rest of us on planet earth. That's still a few months away, so in the back of my mind I've been loosely arranging a list of things that need to be done before he arrives. The obvious ones are things like making sure he has a bed, a car seat, and a few other necessities, but I really haven't thought much past those essentials. That all changed today when I decided it would be fun to stop in at the mother ship of baby stores; Babies R Us.
In hindsight, I should have worked up to this adventure instead of starting there. There are some things you just need to ease into before taking the plunge. This, as it turns out was one of them. I really had no expectations other than I knew it was a store filled with baby stuff. I knew there would be clothes, bottles, cribs, diapers and a handful of other baby supplies, but upon entering the store, it became clear I had no idea how overwhelming this little field trip was about to become.
In my mind, a baby drinks milk out of a bottle. Pretty simple right? Well as I found out today, unless you have a PhD in babynomics, navigating your way through this store is no simple task. The complicated selection of available bottles left me scratching my head wondering how I ever made it through babyhood drinking out of a plain old plastic bottle with a rubber nipple attached. Does it really need to be this complicated? Apparently so.
After my head was spinning from trying to comprehend the science behind the bottle selection, we moved on to what I knew would surely be a no-brainer; baby bibs. After all, its just a little piece of cloth that you put around the baby's neck to keep them from getting food all over themselves when they eat - how hard could this possibly be? Turns out it's a bit more complicated that I expected. Did I need the ergonomically correct version, the environmentally friendly version, the one with a built in catch pocket, or any of the other countless choices available on the 'bib wall'. Literally, there is a wall with hundreds and hundreds of bibs..... I think I'll simplify this choice and just stop by red lobster and grab a box of disposable plastic lobster bibs and call it day. This is way to complicated.
$60 here, $30 there, $150 over there, my head started reeling from everything coming at me from all directions. I was surrounded with no where to go and it felt like Barney, Elmo, and the TeleTubbies were all backing me into a corner to kick me around and take my wallet. I tried to run to another section of the store, but it was no use, I was surrounded by cribs, strollers, dolls, diapers, and of course my favorite; an aisle of breast pumps.
Somehow I managed to make it out unscathed. I think Dawn reassuring me that we didn't need most of the stuff in the store, and that we already had a lot of things on the way from friends and family helped to keep me from passing out.
We left Babies R Us and went and had comfort food at Chik FilA which always helps, and I am home now and realize that it's all going to work out and that our son, just like most of the other babies in the world will be just fine with or without the overwhelming amount of 'stuff' that I saw today.
Of course the irony of this little trip is although I was overwhelmed by the countless ways to spoil your little one, I secretly was eying many items I already wanted for my son. I was visualizing how his room would look, and now that I've had a chance to reflect on my visit, it wasn't anxiety I was feeling at all; it was excitement, happiness, and the joy of knowing that in just a few short months my son will be looking up at me laughing and smiling, and I probably won't even notice what he is wearing (Unless Dawn has him in a dress - then I'd notice).
In hindsight, I should have worked up to this adventure instead of starting there. There are some things you just need to ease into before taking the plunge. This, as it turns out was one of them. I really had no expectations other than I knew it was a store filled with baby stuff. I knew there would be clothes, bottles, cribs, diapers and a handful of other baby supplies, but upon entering the store, it became clear I had no idea how overwhelming this little field trip was about to become.
In my mind, a baby drinks milk out of a bottle. Pretty simple right? Well as I found out today, unless you have a PhD in babynomics, navigating your way through this store is no simple task. The complicated selection of available bottles left me scratching my head wondering how I ever made it through babyhood drinking out of a plain old plastic bottle with a rubber nipple attached. Does it really need to be this complicated? Apparently so.
After my head was spinning from trying to comprehend the science behind the bottle selection, we moved on to what I knew would surely be a no-brainer; baby bibs. After all, its just a little piece of cloth that you put around the baby's neck to keep them from getting food all over themselves when they eat - how hard could this possibly be? Turns out it's a bit more complicated that I expected. Did I need the ergonomically correct version, the environmentally friendly version, the one with a built in catch pocket, or any of the other countless choices available on the 'bib wall'. Literally, there is a wall with hundreds and hundreds of bibs..... I think I'll simplify this choice and just stop by red lobster and grab a box of disposable plastic lobster bibs and call it day. This is way to complicated.
$60 here, $30 there, $150 over there, my head started reeling from everything coming at me from all directions. I was surrounded with no where to go and it felt like Barney, Elmo, and the TeleTubbies were all backing me into a corner to kick me around and take my wallet. I tried to run to another section of the store, but it was no use, I was surrounded by cribs, strollers, dolls, diapers, and of course my favorite; an aisle of breast pumps.
Somehow I managed to make it out unscathed. I think Dawn reassuring me that we didn't need most of the stuff in the store, and that we already had a lot of things on the way from friends and family helped to keep me from passing out.
We left Babies R Us and went and had comfort food at Chik FilA which always helps, and I am home now and realize that it's all going to work out and that our son, just like most of the other babies in the world will be just fine with or without the overwhelming amount of 'stuff' that I saw today.
Of course the irony of this little trip is although I was overwhelmed by the countless ways to spoil your little one, I secretly was eying many items I already wanted for my son. I was visualizing how his room would look, and now that I've had a chance to reflect on my visit, it wasn't anxiety I was feeling at all; it was excitement, happiness, and the joy of knowing that in just a few short months my son will be looking up at me laughing and smiling, and I probably won't even notice what he is wearing (Unless Dawn has him in a dress - then I'd notice).
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Baby movement!
I'm so excited, tonight around 9:15, I actually was able to not only feel our baby move but I could see it. It was incredible and so hard to take my eyes off of my belly! I only wish Bryan were here to see it with me, he will be tomorrow! The little stinker probably won't move much then !
This is so wonderful , I'm so happy !!!!!
This is so wonderful , I'm so happy !!!!!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Boy or Girl - The Wait is Over......
I don't understand people that want to wait and find out if they are having a boy or girl. Seems to complicate things such as baby showers, decorating, picking out a name and many other things. Fortunately neither Dawn nor I fall into that school of thought, and we wanted to know the answer as soon as we could.
I came out of the gate strong, probably as most men do, hoping for a boy. My reasons are varied, but mostly it was because I think I'd do better with a boy than a girl. After all, I can just throw a mismatched pair of shorts and shirt on my boy and off we go. No big fuss over bows, dresses, matching shoes, and many other things I'd be completely clueless about.
On the other side of the gender fence was Dawn dreaming of a little girl. Just as many women do, she was already imagining herself dressing a little girl and doing all the other things a mother and daughter do together.
Despite the fact she was feeling sure we'd have a girl, and I was convinced it was going to be a boy, we both agreed at the end of the day, whatever God sends us, we are blessed and happy to have the gift of live coming our way. Boy or girl; we don't care; it is going to be a great experience that we are both anxiously awaiting.
After weeks of going back and forth and recruiting various friends and family to join our sides on whether we were having a boy or girl, it was finally time to find out. Interestingly enough, in the final days leading up to this moment, my mood started shifting over to dreams of having a little girl. I realized I could probably figure out how to dress a little girl. I think initially it was mostly that I knew I'd be a pushover with a little girl and she'd have me in the palm of her hands. She'd no doubt be daddy's little girl.
Today is May 17th, and even though at this point the baby is far enough along to determine the gender, there are times where the baby just refuses to cooperate and the ultrasound tech may not definitively be able to make the determination. But we felt like we were going to get our answer. Dawn's mother had driven up for the occasion, so we wouldn't want to start disappointing Grandma this early, so Baby H needed to perform.
It didn't take long. Actually it happened so fast I missed it. I was still trying to orient my eyes on the ultrasound screen to figure out what I was looking at. At the 12 week ultrasound, I had no problems seeing feet, arms, nose and most other features, so I assumed that at the 20 week point I'd have NO issues seeing the features even more clearly. I'm not sure what Baby H was doing, but I just couldn't get a clear picture of what was where on the screen. Dawn on the other hand knew exactly what she was looking at, and before I could ask a single question, we were getting our answer.
Four words: "You're Having A Boy"
It was almost uneventful when she told us. I'd been back and forth hoping for a boy or girl that no matter what I heard, I was going to be happy. I was actually more in tune with watching the ultrasound tech's face trying to read her body language to see if she looked alarmed at anything she was seeing on the screen. After all, I was having a difficult time seeing Baby H's features compared to the view I got 8 weeks earlier.
After the ultrasound, we had a very brief visit with the doctor. We were once again back at the dreaded genetics doctor. Unlike our last visit that felt like doom and gloom, this visit was incredibly positive. The doctor commented on how amazed he was on the lab results and had never seen them come back so high. He reassured us that everything looked great on the ultrasound, and sent us on our way. This time we left his office feeling like we were on cloud nine. We are going to have a son! And from all indications, at least up to this point, he looks like a healthy little fella.
It's worth noting that Dawn has been incredible in taking every precaution to minimize any risk to our baby. She's been extremely disciplined in watching what she eats, avoiding anything potentially bad, and preparing herself for motherhood. I have no doubt she's going to be an awesome mother!
Now onto the next major milestone; coming up with a name for our little boy.
I came out of the gate strong, probably as most men do, hoping for a boy. My reasons are varied, but mostly it was because I think I'd do better with a boy than a girl. After all, I can just throw a mismatched pair of shorts and shirt on my boy and off we go. No big fuss over bows, dresses, matching shoes, and many other things I'd be completely clueless about.
On the other side of the gender fence was Dawn dreaming of a little girl. Just as many women do, she was already imagining herself dressing a little girl and doing all the other things a mother and daughter do together.
Despite the fact she was feeling sure we'd have a girl, and I was convinced it was going to be a boy, we both agreed at the end of the day, whatever God sends us, we are blessed and happy to have the gift of live coming our way. Boy or girl; we don't care; it is going to be a great experience that we are both anxiously awaiting.
After weeks of going back and forth and recruiting various friends and family to join our sides on whether we were having a boy or girl, it was finally time to find out. Interestingly enough, in the final days leading up to this moment, my mood started shifting over to dreams of having a little girl. I realized I could probably figure out how to dress a little girl. I think initially it was mostly that I knew I'd be a pushover with a little girl and she'd have me in the palm of her hands. She'd no doubt be daddy's little girl.
Today is May 17th, and even though at this point the baby is far enough along to determine the gender, there are times where the baby just refuses to cooperate and the ultrasound tech may not definitively be able to make the determination. But we felt like we were going to get our answer. Dawn's mother had driven up for the occasion, so we wouldn't want to start disappointing Grandma this early, so Baby H needed to perform.
It didn't take long. Actually it happened so fast I missed it. I was still trying to orient my eyes on the ultrasound screen to figure out what I was looking at. At the 12 week ultrasound, I had no problems seeing feet, arms, nose and most other features, so I assumed that at the 20 week point I'd have NO issues seeing the features even more clearly. I'm not sure what Baby H was doing, but I just couldn't get a clear picture of what was where on the screen. Dawn on the other hand knew exactly what she was looking at, and before I could ask a single question, we were getting our answer.
Four words: "You're Having A Boy"
It was almost uneventful when she told us. I'd been back and forth hoping for a boy or girl that no matter what I heard, I was going to be happy. I was actually more in tune with watching the ultrasound tech's face trying to read her body language to see if she looked alarmed at anything she was seeing on the screen. After all, I was having a difficult time seeing Baby H's features compared to the view I got 8 weeks earlier.
After the ultrasound, we had a very brief visit with the doctor. We were once again back at the dreaded genetics doctor. Unlike our last visit that felt like doom and gloom, this visit was incredibly positive. The doctor commented on how amazed he was on the lab results and had never seen them come back so high. He reassured us that everything looked great on the ultrasound, and sent us on our way. This time we left his office feeling like we were on cloud nine. We are going to have a son! And from all indications, at least up to this point, he looks like a healthy little fella.
It's worth noting that Dawn has been incredible in taking every precaution to minimize any risk to our baby. She's been extremely disciplined in watching what she eats, avoiding anything potentially bad, and preparing herself for motherhood. I have no doubt she's going to be an awesome mother!
Now onto the next major milestone; coming up with a name for our little boy.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Spreading the News
Dawn was way more aggressive than I was about sharing the news early on. Within days of finding out the news, she had already told her parents and a couple of close friends. I almost felt guilty for not sharing the news sooner, but I like to have all of my facts before I share news, and I felt that at this point, we were over the hump. The first trimester was behind us and I had all of the facts I needed.
I shared the news first with my parents. They love Dawn, and were absolutely thrilled when I told them. I then called my son to share the news with him. I wasn't really sure how this call would go. After all, my son is 20 years old and in the home stretch of getting a college degree. He seemed pretty excited and it went better than I thought it would go. I know that with such an age gap and other factors it'll be hard for Jake to have a close relationship, but I hope that as time passes a relationship can develop and they'll be close.
I then made the rounds and called my close friends and shared the news with them. That was by far the most entertaining part of this experience. Most of my friends never thought in a million years they'd be getting that call from me. But after all of the joking and having fun at my expense, they all shared in the excitement and congratulated me on the news.
It seems like everything is falling into place.....
I shared the news first with my parents. They love Dawn, and were absolutely thrilled when I told them. I then called my son to share the news with him. I wasn't really sure how this call would go. After all, my son is 20 years old and in the home stretch of getting a college degree. He seemed pretty excited and it went better than I thought it would go. I know that with such an age gap and other factors it'll be hard for Jake to have a close relationship, but I hope that as time passes a relationship can develop and they'll be close.
I then made the rounds and called my close friends and shared the news with them. That was by far the most entertaining part of this experience. Most of my friends never thought in a million years they'd be getting that call from me. But after all of the joking and having fun at my expense, they all shared in the excitement and congratulated me on the news.
It seems like everything is falling into place.....
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Wait is Over
After several days of waiting for the phone call from the lab, I finally got anxious and decided to call and see what was going on. After all, the doctor assured it it should only take a few days to hear back from them. Was this a sign that something was wrong? I prepared myself, took a deep breath and called the lab.
After fumbling around for a couple of minutes looking for our results, the person on the other end of the phone returned with the results. First there was a pass/fail result that they would give us. Our doctor had already prepared us for a 'fail' result. Anything less than 1:200 is a fail, and we were already at 1:57. I was more interested in hearing about the actual number. Then, to my surprise, she said the result is a 'pass'. This meant that the results came in higher than 1:200. I breathed an enormous sigh of relief. I then asked her for the actual number that came back, thinking it was probably somewhere around the 1:200 mark. I thought I had misunderstood her when she told me the results, so I asked her to repeat it a second time. 1:1400 was our probability. This is the same odds given to someone a fraction of Dawns age.
This was great news, and I couldn't wait to share it with Dawn. We were 13 weeks into the pregnancy, Dawn was still not having any problems, the doctors are giving us good news, the ultrasound looks great, and finally, I am ready to share the news with my close friends and family.
After fumbling around for a couple of minutes looking for our results, the person on the other end of the phone returned with the results. First there was a pass/fail result that they would give us. Our doctor had already prepared us for a 'fail' result. Anything less than 1:200 is a fail, and we were already at 1:57. I was more interested in hearing about the actual number. Then, to my surprise, she said the result is a 'pass'. This meant that the results came in higher than 1:200. I breathed an enormous sigh of relief. I then asked her for the actual number that came back, thinking it was probably somewhere around the 1:200 mark. I thought I had misunderstood her when she told me the results, so I asked her to repeat it a second time. 1:1400 was our probability. This is the same odds given to someone a fraction of Dawns age.
This was great news, and I couldn't wait to share it with Dawn. We were 13 weeks into the pregnancy, Dawn was still not having any problems, the doctors are giving us good news, the ultrasound looks great, and finally, I am ready to share the news with my close friends and family.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Doctor Vist #2
We anxiously anticipated our next visit to the doctor. We were scheduled to see a genetics doctor that would evaluate the probability of our child having some type of birth defect. We were relieved when we arrived in the ultrasound room and got to see a good visual of our little baby moving around. Even more reassuring was when we heard the beating heart. It was an emotional visit for me, because for the first time since I had received the news, I finally felt connected to the baby, and breathed a sigh of relief. I was ready to begin sharing the news with close friends and family members as soon as we left. That is until the genetics doctor met with us.
My excitement was cut short when after a few minutes of formalities, he began reviewing a chart that gave probability of having a child with a genetic defect. Of course as you get older, the probability goes up, and although Dawn looks amazing and most people think she's many years younger than she actually is, we had to face the reality of what the chart said: 1 in 57 chance that we'd have a child with some genetic defect. As if that wasn't a good enough punch to the gut, he then continued on by explaining potential complications with the birth, and other facts I can't even recollect. Both Dawn and I shifted our moods from excitement to concern. Not that any of this news was a surprise; we knew all of this already, but hearing it from a doctor that had charts and stats made it seem very real.
Although the conversation brought several reasons for concern, it really didn't change anything because we had already decided we were 'all in', and regardless of the stats, it was not going to change our decision to have a child. Short of the doctor telling us we were having an alien baby, we accepted his candid discussion and thanked him for his honesty.
Before we left, he did suggest Dawn give a sample of blood that would allow them to better evaluate the probability of a genetic disorder. They could triangulate the ultrasound with the lab results from her blood, with the dreaded age chart, and hopefully give us a number higher than 1:57
Neither one of us knew what the results would yield, and Dawn didn't want to freak out if the number came in lower than 1:57, so we instructed them to call me when they had the results. So much for sharing the exciting news. Once again, I decided to wait until I had more information.
My excitement was cut short when after a few minutes of formalities, he began reviewing a chart that gave probability of having a child with a genetic defect. Of course as you get older, the probability goes up, and although Dawn looks amazing and most people think she's many years younger than she actually is, we had to face the reality of what the chart said: 1 in 57 chance that we'd have a child with some genetic defect. As if that wasn't a good enough punch to the gut, he then continued on by explaining potential complications with the birth, and other facts I can't even recollect. Both Dawn and I shifted our moods from excitement to concern. Not that any of this news was a surprise; we knew all of this already, but hearing it from a doctor that had charts and stats made it seem very real.
Although the conversation brought several reasons for concern, it really didn't change anything because we had already decided we were 'all in', and regardless of the stats, it was not going to change our decision to have a child. Short of the doctor telling us we were having an alien baby, we accepted his candid discussion and thanked him for his honesty.
Before we left, he did suggest Dawn give a sample of blood that would allow them to better evaluate the probability of a genetic disorder. They could triangulate the ultrasound with the lab results from her blood, with the dreaded age chart, and hopefully give us a number higher than 1:57
Neither one of us knew what the results would yield, and Dawn didn't want to freak out if the number came in lower than 1:57, so we instructed them to call me when they had the results. So much for sharing the exciting news. Once again, I decided to wait until I had more information.
Friday, February 26, 2010
The Story of Baby H - The News
In February 2010 I received news that I was going to be a father. At first I was in disbelief because Dawn and I had mostly concluded that like many other couples trying to have a child, it just wasn't going to happen. When Dawn told me the news, I was overwhelmed with many different emotions. Excitement, fear, denial, shock, and more disbelief.
Dawn scheduled a doctor appointment as soon as we found out she was pregnant. Until we could get in and see him, I mostly went about my regular routine trying not to think too much about becoming a father. It's not that I wasn't excited; I was. But I didn't want to get too attached to the idea of fatherhood because of the risk of some type of complication such as a miscarriage occurring. On top of that, it was an EPT home test that had delivered the news, and I know these things can sometimes be wrong, so I needed a 2nd confirmation from a doctor.
A couple of weeks later, we finally got to see the doctor. It was almost like a routine checkup. Weigh in, draw some blood, and other basic stuff..... And then they started handing us baby stuff, like samples of baby formula, bottles, wipes, a baby journal, and an assortment of other baby things. This catapulted me from the uncertain mode to the I'm going to be a daddy phase, and removed any doubts about a baby coming into my life.
A few more weeks passed and Dawn wasn't showing any signs of being pregnant. No morning sickness, no pudgy belly, everything seemed like business as usual. Although she was showing signs of fatigue, I once again started drifting back into a state of uncertainty. Had the doctor been wrong? Had the EPT been wrong? Worse yet, had they both been right, but something was wrong with the baby? Even Dawn started worrying a little, but neither of us tried to let it show, so we just reassured each other that nothing was wrong, although I think we both had it in our minds that something wasn't right.
Dawn had told a few close friends and family that a baby was on the way by this point, but I had still not shared the news with anyone. I was still nervous and didn't want to spread the news until we were further along. After all the first trimester is the most risky, so I needed a couple more doctor visits under my belt before I started spreading the news. It was still a few more weeks until we'd return to the doctor, so I'd just anxiously await until our next visit.
Dawn scheduled a doctor appointment as soon as we found out she was pregnant. Until we could get in and see him, I mostly went about my regular routine trying not to think too much about becoming a father. It's not that I wasn't excited; I was. But I didn't want to get too attached to the idea of fatherhood because of the risk of some type of complication such as a miscarriage occurring. On top of that, it was an EPT home test that had delivered the news, and I know these things can sometimes be wrong, so I needed a 2nd confirmation from a doctor.
A couple of weeks later, we finally got to see the doctor. It was almost like a routine checkup. Weigh in, draw some blood, and other basic stuff..... And then they started handing us baby stuff, like samples of baby formula, bottles, wipes, a baby journal, and an assortment of other baby things. This catapulted me from the uncertain mode to the I'm going to be a daddy phase, and removed any doubts about a baby coming into my life.
A few more weeks passed and Dawn wasn't showing any signs of being pregnant. No morning sickness, no pudgy belly, everything seemed like business as usual. Although she was showing signs of fatigue, I once again started drifting back into a state of uncertainty. Had the doctor been wrong? Had the EPT been wrong? Worse yet, had they both been right, but something was wrong with the baby? Even Dawn started worrying a little, but neither of us tried to let it show, so we just reassured each other that nothing was wrong, although I think we both had it in our minds that something wasn't right.
Dawn had told a few close friends and family that a baby was on the way by this point, but I had still not shared the news with anyone. I was still nervous and didn't want to spread the news until we were further along. After all the first trimester is the most risky, so I needed a couple more doctor visits under my belt before I started spreading the news. It was still a few more weeks until we'd return to the doctor, so I'd just anxiously await until our next visit.
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